Reinvent Yourself

Reinventing yourself after a breakup can be a transformative and empowering journey of self-discovery and growth. It’s a healthy way to step into the next phase of your life, but I’m not going to lie to you, it sucks. Feeling a thousand emotions at the same time will make you want to run away and never come back. While it's natural to feel a range of emotions during this time, such as sadness, anger, or confusion, it's also an opportunity to rediscover who you are, pursue your passions, and create a life that reflects your true desires and values. Trust me, I’ve been there more than once, and each time I thought my heart was going to explode because it hurt so much. Well, my heart did not explode and I can safely say I have moved on and so will you. Stick with me, sis. I got your back.

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

During my last break up, I came across a video on TikTok that completed changed how I look at relationships. The reason why we suffer so much during a break up, is not because we are grieving the loss of our current relationship, we grieve the memories we have together and future plans we spent so much time thinking about. Give yourself permission to feel and process your emotions surrounding the breakup. Set a number of days you will allow yourself to cry, scream, cry some more, and tell yourself how everything and everyone suck. Once you reach the end of your grieving period, pick up yourself from the floor and prepare for the next step.

2. Redefine your Goals for the Future

Take a moment to sit down with a pen and paper and start creating a plan for your future. Allow yourself to dream big and create actionable items that will help you achieve your big dream. Don’t be afraid to dig deep and think outside of the box! This is your time to have fun and explore new possibilities.

3. Reconnect with Yourself and Make a Pleasure Inventory

Reconnect with activities, hobbies, and interests that bring you joy and fulfillment. This is also a great time to do a pleasure inventory. Be completely honest with yourself about your sex life and how you have received pleasure from yourself or your previous partner. Was the sex good? What could they have done differently? Did you feel fulfilled afterwards or was something lacking? Make a list of non negotiables and stick with them! Here’s an example: After my break up, I promised myself I would dedicate time for self pleasure and explore fetishes I was curious about. I have incorporated self pleasure into my self care routine and it has changed my life completely.

4. Set New Goals and Intentions

It’s important to create small realistic goals you can easily achieve on a daily basis and slowly increase the level of difficulty as you gain your strenght and confidence back. Start by getting out of bed and making your bed, followed by brushing your teeth and putting on a cute outfit. Once you can do this naturally, move on to the next goal. Set your intention for the day and remind yourself of your goals every time you start to feel down. Remind yourself that our strenght never fully leaves us when going through a break up, it simply needs reassurance and love to gain its power back.

5. Talk to Yourself

I know, this sounds weird, but this is actually what really helped me recenter and find myself during my last break up. Treat your heart and soul like a friend that is going through a tough time. What would you say to them? Say those words out loud and believe that your heart is listening. Every time you feel like crying, talk to your heart and say that everything will be ok.

6. Surround Yourself with Support

Surround yourself with supportive friends, family members, and mentors who uplift and encourage you. Seek out positive influences and relationships that nurture your growth and well-being. Lean on your support network for guidance and encouragement during this time. Don’t be afraid to take a step back from friendships and other relationships if you need some space. Now it’s time to focus on yourself!

7. Take care of your Appearance

Look, I know how difficult it is to even get out of bed when all you’ve done is cry, but now it’s time to gather yourself from the floor, wash your face and focus on looking your best. In the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, she talks about how every time she’s feeling down or stuck in a project, she treats herself to a date with the Universe by jumping in the shower, getting her hair and nails done, and wearing her favorite outfit. Looking your best will help you boost your self confidence and self esteem. Give it a try!

8. Embrace New Experiences

Embrace new experiences and opportunities for growth. Step out of your comfort zone and try new things that challenge and inspire you. Whether it's traveling to new places, meeting new people, or trying new hobbies, embrace the adventure of reinventing yourself. Taking a solo trip is always a good idea! This will be a reminder of how capable you are. Choose a place you’ve always wanted to visit and go for it!

9. Focus on the Present Moment

Stay present and focus on the here and now. Let go of regrets about the past and worries about the future. Practice mindfulness and gratitude for the present moment, and trust that everything is unfolding as it should. When practicing any of these steps become overwhelming, take a step back and remember of the power you hold and the confidence you were born with, then take a deep breath and keep going.

10. Believe in Yourself

Believe in yourself and your ability to overcome challenges and create a life you love. Trust in your resilience and inner strength, and know that you are capable of reinventing yourself and finding happiness and fulfillment on your own terms. Believe that the Universe is always working in your favor.

Reinventing yourself after a breakup is a journey of self-discovery, healing, and growth. By allowing yourself to grieve, reconnecting with yourself, setting new goals, and embracing new experiences, you can emerge from this experience stronger, wiser, and more empowered than ever before. Remember, the end of one chapter is just the beginning of the next, and you have the power to create a beautiful new story for yourself. Also, don’t ever forget what a bad bitch you are!